Part of me misses the days when the Jets were perennial Top-10 draftees. I really don't feel like waiting until past midnight for Mr. T to trade out of the first round. Is it me or do none of the "top guys" in this year's draft impress you as future Pro Bowlers?

Anyway, as far as RS draft coverage is concerned, please follow RexSanchez6 and QuimFont for your second-by-second, minute-by-minute, confusing, irrelevant thought-by-confusing, irrelevant thought coverage (really, follow RexSanchez6---it's becoming our official Twitter, I promise). And for post-draft coverage, we'll have our second annual "live diary," this year penned by yours truly. Last year I was traveling through Italy's beautiful Amalfi Coast, soaking in the Mediterranan's beautiful night breeze, gazing off into the distance <smacks self in face>...

Yeah, check back tonight for the "live diary" and draft analysis throughout the weekend.

BuddyCrutch, oot. no comments

The Jets should be playing here in 2011. The reason they're not? Nobody knows.

Deep in the recesses of Buddy Crutchfield's suburban Long Island home lays a copy of the New York Rangers 2004-05 schedule. Circled on the crumbled piece of paper are three games in late December. Fans of Canada's northwest, the Krieg clan had planned a six-day roadie to Calgary, Edmonton and Vancouver. It was going to be epic.

It never happened.

A 310-day work stoppaged wiped out the entire 2004-05 NHL season, crushing the dreams of an adolescent Buddy Crutchfield. So when the *2011 NFL schedule was released at 7 p.m., I was naturally afraid to start scheming road trips for a season that has an unofficial record of six easy-to-travel-to-games.

But then again, I have a blog that this offseason has received as much content as Brandon Dubinsky will get ass until he shaves that hideous, stomach-turning, slimey, repulsive, razor-thin, jet-black mustache.



So hey, let's make terrible decisions together and plan road trips that will never happen and jinx NFL fans around the country!

Your 2011 NEW YORK JETS SCHEDULE!!!

WEEK 1: Sun, 9/11, 8:20 p.m., vs. Cowboys

Buddy's Broodings: A fun opener, but an annoying opener. The Cowboys are going to be very good next season, in my humble opinion. There are many glaring similarities between this season's schedule and last year's...this is one.

WEEK 2: Sun, 9/18, 1:00 p.m., vs. Jaguars

Buddy's Broodings: For a team that hasn't been very good in a decade, the Jags always seem to give the Jets problems. The Jets are 2-6 versus Jacksonville in regular-season play and have only beat them once in the past 15 years (excluding the Jan. 1999 playoff win).

WEEK 3: Sun, 9/25, 4:05 p.m., @ Raiders

Buddy's Broodings: The Jets return to their home away from home after a one year respite from San Francisco's ugly sister. Ugh. Nothing good EVER comes out of playing there. Even in a 38-0 victory your starting running back has his leg shattered. The Jets have played there an incredible nine times in the past 11 seasons (postseason included).

WEEK 4: Sun, 10/2, 8:20 p.m., @ Ravens

ROAD TRIP ALERT: An easy trip, but a miserable game experience. The fans are miserable animals and the Jets never win there. The Likely Lad has been to every Jets game ever played in Baltimore (weird, I know) and he has yet to see a win. Plus, they wouldn't let our mother down the aisle to go to the bathroom during our visit in 2000. I hate them.

Buddy's Broodings: Ugh. The Jets last beat the Ravens on Nov. 2, 1997. Neil O'Donnell and Glen Foley split snaps at quarterback. 'Nuff said.

WEEK 5: Sun, 10/9, 4:15 p.m., @ Patriots

ROAD TRIP ALERT: Home fan venom should be at an all-time high after last season's glorious playoff victory. Travel at your own discretion.

Buddy's Broodings: Three straight road games with no bye week to break it up? Yeah, that's fair. The Ravens and Patriots on back-to-back weeks (on the road). Just like last year, I told you.

WEEK 6: Mon, 10/17, 8:30 p.m., vs. Dolphins

Buddy's Broodings: The Jets are 4-0 all-time in Monday night games at home versus Miami. I love pro-football-reference.com.

WEEK 7: Sun, 10/23, 1:00 p.m., vs. Chargers

Buddy's Broodings: That's a murderer's row heading into the Week 8 bye week. Again, just like last year.

WEEK 8: BYE

WEEK 9: Sun, 11/6, 1:00 p.m., @Bills

ROAD TRIP ALERT: In New York State so by default it's a doable road trip. WEIRD CHILDHOOD MEMORY: Eating a barbecue pulled pork sandwich in the parking lot of Ralph Wilson Stadium and finding out the U.S. had just invaded Afghanistan (10/7/01). And then of course Mo Lewis nearly decapitating Rob Johnson. That was fun, at least.

Buddy's Broodings: I would have preferred to play in Toronto again. This is one of the Jets easier games and it's still going to be a pain in the arse.

WEEK 10: Sun, 11/13, 8:20 p.m., vs. Patriots

Buddy's Broodings: (See next comment)

WEEK 11: Thurs, 11/17, 8:20 p.m., @Broncos

Buddy's Broodings: Yeah, this is real f***ing fair. You have to play your biggest rival in a crucial late-season game at night and then to fly across the country to play on Thursday night in a stadium built a mile above sea level. How does that make any sense? I'm out of breath just thinking about it. Like I said, even the Jets easy games are difficult.

WEEK 12: Sun, 11/27, 1:00 p.m., vs. Bills

Buddy's Broodings: This would be an easy W but when give you Schotty more than seven days to prepare, well, you know how he overthinks things. This game will be ALL about establishing LT.

WEEK 13: Sun, 12/4, 1:00 p.m., @Redskins

ROAD TRIP ALERT: In terms of likelihood of winning, visiting a stadium the Jets rarely play in (once since 1996), dealing with emotionally defeated fans, a daytime kickoff, and seeing a beautiful city, this probably your best bet for a road trip. Rex Sanchez approved!

Buddy's Broodings: I'm assuming Mike Shanahan will have been fired and Donovan McNabb released by December. This should be a win.

WEEK 14: Sun, 12/11, 1:00 p.m., vs. Chiefs

Buddy's Broodings: I have a conspiracy theory with this game. According to the NFL schedule cycle which began in 2002, the Jets should be playing the Chiefs in Kansas City. Where teams play rotates every three years with non-divisional AFC teams. The Jets won at home in 2002, lost at Arrowhead in 2005, and won at home in 2008 (the Jets also played KC at home in 2007 but that was because of where the teams finished in the standings in 2006---completely independent of the schedule cycle). But this year, instead of playing in Arrowhead, the Jets have the Chiefs at home. I tweeted all the NYJ sportswriters and none of them could explain the scheduling quirk. My theory: The schedule makers missed having the Jets play in Oakland (the team that mistakenly got flipped-flopped with KC) and wanted to see them back in the Black Hole.

I need to get a life.

WEEK 15: Sun, 12/18, 4:15 p.m., @Eagles

ROAD TRIP ALERT: Ugh. I hate the city, the fans, and the people (with the exception of a few Penn State comrades). Plus, the Jets have never beat the Eagles, and even more strangely, have only played in Philadelphia once since 1978. Odd.

Buddy's Broodings: Keep voting for Michael Vick to win the Madden '12 cover! By the time the Jets get there in late December the curse will have struck! Vote now! 

WEEK 16: Sat, 12/24, 1:00 p.m., vs. Giants (Christmas Eve)

Buddy's Broodings: I love this! An otherwise lackluster Jewish afternoon is replaced by a New York football derby (say it with a British sports accent) and there's still time for Chinese food and movies at night! What a day!

WEEK 17: Sun, 1/1, 1:00 p.m., @Dolphins

ROAD TRIP ALERT: An easy trip only because everyone knows someone who lives in Florida and it's during most people's winter vacations so you'd probably be there anyway. There's a good chance you'll be too hungover to make the 1 p.m. kickoff, but so will Braylon, so you won't be alone.

Buddy's Broodings: There's no chance this game does not determine if the Jets get the first pick in the draft/make the playoffs/win the division/win the conference/go undefeated. There's just no chance. I'm nervous already.

(NOTE: I apologize for every comment on every article I have ever written being deleted. Bollocks! Can I get a "Blog-uin Sucks!" chant to the tune of "Pot-vin Sucks!"? Somebody? Please?
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(Editor's Note: The Likely Lad has greatly matured this offseason, and is now ready to reveal his true name---The envelope please! (Opening) Gregory Krieg! (Celebratory Music Plays)----So, there ya go. Big changes here at RS. Now when GK offends you with his mindless ramblings, you know who to mail your bag of poop to.)

2011 Draft Preview

For Jets fans, late April just ain't what it used to be.

We're not complaining.

Picking at the end of the first round, but not last, is a bittersweet affair. Even with last year's relative success, the Jets have a number of clearly defined needs.

The conventional wisdom says the choice will come from the large stable of defensive linemen and outside linebackers projected to go between the Bucs, at No. 20, and the Chargers, in the middle of the second round. There are no less than 15 players, all of whom fit the Jets' foremost need (sacking the QB), projecting to come off the board in that span. And given the front seven's inability last year to create even a whisper of a pass rush, we'd bet on Mike Tannenbaum and The Big Fella to wrap up the biggest/fastest/most violent of the bunch.

Among the candidates:

1) PHIL TAYLOR - NT - BAYLOR - Simply put, a gigantic man. Standing at more than 6' 3" and weighing in at 334 lbs (after a week-long hunger strike, maybe), Taylor makes for some matchup problems inside. Sione Pouha and Mike DeVito have done the Lord's work the past two years, quietly anchoring a defense that's been very tough against the run. That said, they've rarely drawn dedicated double teams or taken advantage of a single blocker. The Jets defense needs a more consistent pass rush - less reliant on Rex's blitz schemes - and one way to create it is to have a wooly mammoth in the middle eating up blockers and creating lanes for linebackers. Would surely spell the already almost-sure end for Kris Jenkins.

If he's available, and judging by the mocks we've read that's a 50-50 proposition, Phil Taylor is the RS-approved pick at No. 30.

2) CAMERON HEYWARD - DE - OHIO STATE - Just as good a fit as Taylor, though for different reasons. And he's a Buckeye, so, ummm, you'll understand why he's not winning anything with us. Heyward though, unlike that other dude Tannenbaum drafted from OSU, comes from prime NFL stock. Son of the late "Iron Head" Heyward (yes, we are aware of the sad irony of the nickname), Heyward the younger can play anywhere in the front seven. A little under 6' 5" and edging up on 300 pounds he'd line up as end in the 3-4, but could move inside if Rex wants four down lineman. Heyward could also play OLB, but we doubt he'd be doing much of that. Could replace Shaun Ellis.

3) AKEEM AYERS (Jr) - OLB - UCLA - A hundred pounds lighter than Mr. Taylor, but almost as tall, Ayers is a two-year starter with almost oddly consistent production. In his last two seasons he's finished with 75 and 68 tackles, respectively, 6 and 4 sacks, respectively, and has not missed a game in any of his three seasons at UCLA. He's a big-play guy with game speed (translation: his 40 time was underwhelming) but he also likes to hit people. Could replace Bryan Thomas or Calvin, or guarantee we've seen the last of Jason Taylor.

WILD CARD) QUAN STURDIVANT - MLB - UNC - Great name, tons of tackles - in the David Harris mold - and if you aren't too concerned by the pot bust, could be a steal. But everything we've seen has him going in the 2nd or 3rd rounds. Getting the Quan would likely mean trading down or up, as the Jets have no second round pick. Would replace... Bart Scott (in two years).

Of course, the Jets rarely do what you expect, so we'll throw a few other names into the mix:

If they decided to go for a safety, there's UCLA's Rahim Moore. More in the Kerry Rhodes model, Moore could add some versatility to a group that behaved like a bunch of smaller, slightly faster, linebackers. That is, he's good in coverage. The question is whether or not he has Rex-requisite aggression to play in this system.

If they decide to upgrade a good-not-great offensive line, there's Derek Sherrod from Mississippi State. At nearly 6' 6" and 325 lbs he could supplant Wayne "The Best Backup Tackle in the NFL" Hunter as a long-term solution at right tackle. You need big men for "Ground and Pound" and Sherrod fits the bill, even if there are some ESPN-fueled concern about an alleged lack of aggression.

Or, in the even they're looking beyond next season, the highest ranked running back expected to be available should be... Ryan Williams from Virginia Tech. Similar build to Shonn Greene, but he can catch the ball a bit. Even if it's not Williams, expect Tannenbaum to look at backs at some point. LT has one more season. (Note: Dion Lewis from Pitt could be a sleeper. Big numbers, little man.)

(Editor's Note: We still don't buy the coaching staff believing in McKnight. They tried the positive reinforcement thing with Vernon "His Balls Are Dropping Before Our Eyes" Gholston and it failed miserably---as it will with The Puker.)

The later rounds are an obvious crapshoot, both for the teams and us amateur prognosticators. We've always been of the mind that aside from idiotic redundancy - see: Kyle Brady - a team should always, even early on, take the best player available. Your need today is so rarely the same in three months. And that goes five-fold in the later rounds. (Nuuuugent!) The Jets are likely to need a boost at WR when free agency finally takes its toll, but that position is famously unpredictable on draft day(s). no comments

I totally get where Rex is coming from...

Hmm let's see what excuse works best for why we haven't posted an article in 25 days...

A. We were part of the now decertified Players Union. When the CBA expired on March 4--the date of our last article--we were legally barred from writing new posts.

Believability: 10%

B. I broke my right pointer finger. I never learned to type with both hands. I took a computer-typing class in sixth grade but I became so enamored with the idea of girls my age having breasts that I could not pay attention. Today, I type with only my pointer finger, with an occasional assist from pinkey finger holding down the Shift button. I'm a lock for developing Carpel Tunnel Syndrome by age 26.

Believability: 70%

C. I was kidnapped by an insane Rex Sanchez fan in the bumblefuck fields of central Pennsylvania, held captive like James Caan is Misery, forced to write ten blog posts a day, but then was unable to post them because Bloguin's article-posting system is crap and I lost everything I wrote when I tried to edit the articles. My captor does not believe me. I'm still stuck here. Please save me! Please! She's coming! Tell my family I lov <Single Gunshot>

Believability: 2%

 
Don't let this happen to Buddy!

D. I met Vernon Gholston, Hartsock!!!, and Wayne Hunter in an NYC club, they positively ID'd me, kidnapped me, and now force me to play pool with VG every night because he's had no one to play with since Clowney left town. Hartsock holds me while I try to shoot, and Wayne tips VG's shot whenever he's going for the corner pocket.

Believability: 15%

E. I got really lazy. Lost all my creativity. Went on spring break to Vegas. Lost all my self-esteem and self-respect. Decided to tweet poorly-developed, nonsensical, miscellaneous things to Twitter, instead of developing them into well-written posts (like this one!)

Believability: 100%

So there you go. Believe what you want to believe.

As for the football team this website purportedly reports on...here's a few thoughts.

On the lockout...

This shit is so overrated. There's obviously going to be a season. The owners---the greedy, miserly bastards they are---will wait until Aug. 1 to strike a deal even if it lands them one extra penny. They know that as the drop-dead date for a season draws closer, the players union will start to cave---as all players unions do---and in the end they may not get the extra $1 billion they wanted, but if they get an extra $200 million, this whole thing was a huge success for them. I hate sports sometimes.

On the Jets...

From all indications this lockout is GREAT for the Jets. The 2011 season is almost guaranteed to be an uncapped year, and if the same free agency rules stay in place, Santonio, Cromartie, and Brad Smith will all be restricted free agents, not unrestricted. Additionally, when you consider the Jets have played more games (38) than any team in the NFL the past two seasons, is a spring and early summer of no minicamps and OTAs the worst thing in the world? Let Sanchez's shoulder rest. Let Revis's hamstring relax with Mac Miller. And let Shonn Greene continue to sit on the sideline so Schotty can work on establishing LT. Also, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning get a year older (rustier, in other words). Big Ben has more down time (that's a very good/bad thing). And the Patriots' 24 first-round picks have virtually no training camp before starting the season. I see no downside to any of this.

On Rex...

I love how even in the face of a work stoppage and complete inactivity from the NFL, our beloved coach remains in the spotlight. Like take this gem he belted out a few weeks ago. What the hell is he talking about?! Who knows. But that's why I love him. Other the fact he's fat he has nothing in common with Babe Ruth, but when he said it, I thought, "You know what, in some sick, perverted way, I totally get it! He is just like Babe Ruth!" So if he can convince me that he is similar to the most prolific home run hitter in baseball history and an American folk hero, then imagine how powerful and believable a speaker he is to his players. I wish he coached all my teams. (Although it would be tempting to hear and see Harry Redknapp manage the Mets. Primarily to see him in a baseball uniform, and secondarily (is that a word?) to see him have a heart-to-heart with Jose Reyes---I'll let you play out that conversation in your head. 'Arry knows all about hamstring injuries.)


 Uh say Ho-zay, have you seen moi sweets? Coulda sworen zey were in moi trouzers.

On the draft...

I'm not excited for it. There seem to be a handful of defensive tackles and DE/OLB hybrids that fit what the Jets need. I could also see them picking an offensive lineman, most likely a right tackle. I think the lockout really will help them keep the band together so I don't see their needs at WR/CB/S being as pronounced as we initially anticipated. Plus, they have no secound-round pick. That's no fun.

On the new kickoff rules...

I was not surprised at all the Jets voted for the rule change. With kickoffs now at the 35-yard line, Brad Smith's value on the open market goes down, which in turn saves the Jets money. Also, our Open a Freakin' Pizza Stand In The Bronx special teams coach is the best at diagramming kickoff return plays. I'm confident he'll figure something out. That may seem shortsighted but the NFL is a one-year-at-a-time league, and if the rule change helps the Jets save money for one year and gives Westhoff a leg up on the competition for one year, why not vote for it? They can suggest the rule be changed back next year when Westhoff retires.

On Erik Ainge...

Damn, man. For those of you haven't read it yet, hop on over to ESPN New York and read his chilling first-hand account of life as a MAJOR drug addict. Beyond his struggles, it got me thinking that the lockout could pose a serious threat to players with his problems---there are way more than we think. Here's to hoping our boys stay clean in the months leading up to the inevitable 2011 season. No one deserves to ever go through shit like that...
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I miss this.

I watched a Tigers-Braves spring training game on Thursday afternoon. The sight of a sporting event being played in the afternoon sun put a smile to my face. Supplementing the ambiance of the telecast was a conversation between Bobby Valentine and Orel Hershiser about the '99 Mets.

The two men lamented the team's loss to Atlanta in Game 6 of the '99 NLCS, when Mets pitcher Kenny Rogers issued a season-ending bases loaded walk to the Braves' Andruw Jones in the bottom of the 11th inning. The Mets lost the game 10-9.

The conversation went like this...

Orel: If (only) we coulda got that blood clot out of Kenny Rogers arm before he threw ball four.

Bobby V: Andruw Jones---the most free-swinger on the team actually walked with the bases loaded. I still can't believe he did that.

Surprisingly, the brief exchange made me laugh, not cringe. Had Willie Randolph been speaking with Darren Oliver about Yadier Molina's home run in '06, I would have vomited and punched a hole through my table.

So what was the difference? Both teams lost in the NLCS and were eliminated in games they could have easily won.

It's simple: The '99 Mets were gutty and lovable, and the '06 Mets were soft and heartless.

That got me thinking. Twelve years from now, will I look back fondly on the 2010 Jets? Or will I remember them as a trash-talking group of underachievers.

My answer at the moment is the former, not the latter.

***

I miss the 2010 Jets. I had so much fun with them. They were the loosest of loose cannons. From week to week you had no idea what they were going to do. Would Rex be caught tap dancing in the locker room? Would Santonio snap and toke a celebratory J at midfield? Would Cromartie have a new baby momma surface? You were never surprised by the headlines they generated. Monday through Saturday was just as exciting as Sunday---and that's really saying something.

Sundays (and Mondays and a Thursday and a Saturday) were thrilling. Other than the two Bills victories, every game was fascinating. Most of them came down to the final drive, some the final play, and those that didn't induce a heart attack had the allure of a 45-3 beatdown or a 28-14 statement win versus New England. The consecutive wins over Detroit, Cleveland and Houston have to rank as the most exciting three-week stretch of football in team history. I defy you to find a better 21 days! I defy you!

The game-winning drive over Houston ranks in my Top Five Favorite Moments As A Sports Fan...Ever.

Greg Gumbel's call of Santonio's touchdown, or lack thereof, is spectacular. I've never heard a Jets crowd react like that to a touchdown. It was a spine-tingling moment for those in attendance.

And then there was the playoffs.

The win in Indy was great, of course. When you consider Nick Folk became only the second player in NFL postseason history to kick a game-winning field (with his team trailing) on the final play of a game you are forced to realize how incredibly clutch a moment that was (yes, I've even grown nostalgic about him!). And of course there was the win in New England. The second most important win in team history,(with the Curtis Painter victory in '09 a close third), saw the Jets play to their potential for 60 minutes that day in Foxboro. Sadly, they expended all their emotional (and physical) energy winning that game. The loss in Pittsburgh was a bitter end to a thrilling season.

So that's how I feel. Maybe I'll change my mind next week, or next season, or maybe in 20 years when the Jets still have one Vince Lombardi Trophy to their name.

***

After the Mets were eliminated from the '06 postseason everyone assumed the young, talented team would be back. They had too many big names not to, right?

Well, five years later and they still have not played in another postseason game. Let's hope the same can't be said for the Jets in 2016. no comments

 

She was only 17, haha? Ahh, that's no biggie. This one time, on the '86 Browns summer retreat, Marty and I...

I was going to personally tell you why each Jets coach will or will not be back in 2011, but after seeing the team has 17 coaches on its staff (17!!!!), I opted to defer to Brian Schottenheimer since he knows them on a more personal basis. Here's what Schotty had to say...

***

Before I critique my coaching brethren, I have some steam I need to blow off about the Super Bowl.

What are the Packers doing throwing on third-and-10 late in the fourth quarter? The play-of-the-game completion down the middle to Jennings was a terrible call. A fireable offense, in my opinion. They had barely established James Starks at that point in the game. On a national stage like that, you have one responsibility: Establish your mediocre running back.

As for Rodgers, he's a disgrace. He throws the ball way too hard and accurately. I would bench Mark's 17-year-old lovin' arse if he ever played like that. I told him earlier this season, "If you don't overthrow at least two receivers per game we're bringing Brunell in." He understood.

Wait, why I am writing this stupid column? The season is over. I prevented us from getting us to the Super Bowl by not giving Shonn the ball on three straight plays from the 1, and then by making sure our final scoring drive drained the clock. My only regret is that we did not establish LT. That may have been my last chance. If it were up to me I would cut Shonn and bring back LT. He's the straw that stirs our drink.

Anyway, here is my take on which coaches we should bring back in 2011.

Jeff Weeks, Outside Linebackers Coach: Nay. Who the hell is that?

Dennis Thurman, Defensive Backs: Yay. Ever since he admitted he was an "angry black man" on Hard Knocks, I became a big supporter of his.

Bob Sutton, Linebackers Coach: Nay. That guy is a mummy. He still hasn't realized he was demoted from defensive coordinator to LB coach when Rex came.

Jim O'Neil, Assistant Defensive Backs: Yay. Dennis told me this guy took care of LT when I was sick earlier in the season. Brought him chicken noodle soup and everything. Great guy.

Anthony Lynn, Running Backs: Yay. I hear Buddy is boys with his son, D'Anton, a cornerback for Penn State. Anyone who Buddy likes, I like.

Ben Kotwicka, Assistant Special Teams: Nay. It's for the best. Westhoff verbally assaults this guy every day. By time the playoffs rolled around he would start crying when he heard the name "Mike." He needs to go.

Henry Ellard, Wide Receivers: Nay. **** that guy! He's always demanding I throw slants to Santonio, 10-yard outs to Jerricho, and play action pases to Braylon. All these passes that make sooooo much sense and utilize our receivers' strengths. He doesn't understand what it means to establish LT. I want him gone!

Mike Devlin, Tight Ends: Yay. I need him so we can keep getting holding calls from Hartsock. That's a staple of our offense.

Matt Cavanaugh, Quarterbacks: Nay. I want Brunell to be the QB coach. He and Mark are soooo cute together. They had a pillow fight in their leopard-print underwear the night before the Steelers game. It really cut the tension in the room. Mark is great for Mark!

Mark Carrier, Defensive Line: Nay. Again, I have no idea who this is. Get rid of him.

Bill Callahan, Offensive Line: Yay. Mah man. He respects the establishing of LT. My biggest ally. The Churchill to my Roosevelt. The Don Maloney to my Glen Sather. The Barack Obama to my Hosni Mubarak. Wait, ignore that last one.

Mike Bloomgren, Assistant Offensive Coordinator: Yay. I pay him to stay at home. Early in the season he tried to undermine my authority, but since he's a big dude, I chose not to fight him. Marty suggested I pay him off and it worked---the last good piece of advice he's given me.

Sal Alosi, Strength and Conditioning: Hahahahahahaha! What a tool!

Mike Westhoff, Special Teams: Nay. He stole my spotlight in Hard Knocks. I planned on becoming huge from that show. It was going to show America my Beautiful Mind. Instead, I now have to write this stupid column to show you dults how beautiful I really am.

Mike Pettine, Defensive Coordinator: Nay. I've never spoken to him, but don't you just get the sense he's a big douche? I sure do.

Rex Ryan, Head Coach: Yay. We all know he is the team's real defensive coordinator. I know he's told the press that he comes to offensive meetings...NOT TRUE! Rex Ryan is a DUH-FEN-SIVE CAWD-NATE-UH! If you think othuhwise, youah lawst! Get me Pawcello's stats!

How'd you like my Francesa impression? Pretty good, right?

Me, The Beautiful Mind: Yay. F*** you think? I'm going to be the HC of the NYJ by August 1. I'm going to send Deadspin pictures of Rex sniffing players cleats and then indulging himself. That's grounds for dismissal, right?

Well it better be. Next year, 2011, is the Year of Schotty. Get ready! no comments

Not coincidentally, I'm watching Groundhog Day on Groundhog Day. (Encore is actually showing it every two hours until midnight if you're interested.) Coincidentally, the past two weeks have felt like Groundhog Day for Jets fans. Every morning we wake up to talking television heads previewing the same football game that will simply never be played. They preview the same matchups, replay the same highlights and never stop talking about Ben Roethlisberger's "redemption," because you definitely redeem yourself for multiple sexual assault allegations by winning a Super Bowl.

I cannot wait for Wednesday night. No, the pain will not end Sunday. There will be around-the-clock highlights on Monday followed by parade celebration clips on Tuesday. I have never been so excited to hear about CBAs, lockouts, and Roger Goodell's duplicity. This is going to be a GREAT offseason.

Anyway, here's our second edition of "Yay or Nay," Will They Be Back in 2011?

***

DEFENSE

Shaun Ellis: Nay. An unrestricted free agent, Ellis will be commanding a respectable long-term deal after a nice season. I think the Jets will go young on the D-line and let Ellis walk.

Mike DeVito: Yay. Hey, why not?

Vernon Gholston: Nay. Finally. After three sackless years, the biggest draft bust of the Tannenbaum Era will finally be released. In other years the Jets may have kept him around to save face, but they will need the money he's due for other players.

Trevor Pryce: Nay. He's too old.

Kris Jenkins: Nay. He's due a nice chunk of money and sadly, the dude simply cannot stay on the field. It's a shame.

Sione Pouha: Yay. He seems to get better every year and with two legitimate edge pass rushers Pouha could be an ideal nose tackle in the 3-4.

David Harris: Yay. Please, yay. The second-best player on the defense and possibly on the team, Harris is Priority No. 1 for the Jets offseason. For an overrated, aging linebacking corps, Harris is a must-have in 2011.

Bart Scott: Nay. As impossible as it is not to love him, it's equally hard to ignore his lack of big plays in two years as a Jet. His two-year totals: Two sacks, one forced fumble and no interceptions. That simply does not cut it for the man they call The Madbacker. On the wrong side of 30, Bart's days as a Jet are numbered.

Bryan Thomas: Nay. Although he quietly had six sacks in '10, he failed to make a discernible difference in the Jets pass-rush. Due big money and over 30-years old seems to be a common theme for Jets defenders.

Calvin Pace: Yay. The Jets will decide between him and BT as their OLB to retain. I say they choose Pace.

Jason Taylor: Nay. What a waste that was. He cost the Jets the Super Bowl. I have no idea how, but I know he did.

Lance Laury: Yay. Listed as an LB, he is a nice special-teamer and he walks funny. That's all I know about him.

Jamaal Westerman: Yay. Young and cheap. The Jets will need guys like him in '11.

Marquice Cole: Yay. Came on strong down the stretch and gave RS an interview. We love him!

Drew Coleman: Yay. Also improved his play down the stretch. Like Cole, he's a good No. 3 or 4 CB.

Antonio Cromartie: Yay. Priority No. 2 for the Jets. I don't see the Jets letting Cro walk after surrendering a second-round pick for him. Plus, he was sneakily really friggin' good after the Ravens game. He shutdown the immortal Mike Wallace in the AFC CG.

Darrelle Revis: Yay. Don't be surprised if his contract is re-worked, though. Last year's deal was a band-aid.

Dwight Lowery: Yay. Another cheap body in the secondary.

Kyle Wilson: Yay. I still hate him for dropping the interception in Steelers territory down 24-10.

James Ihedigbo: Yay. A special teams ace, or so the coaching staff says. Him and Westhoff clearly have hard-ons for each other.

Jim Leonhard: Yay. Like Bart Scott, I'm not sure if he'd be here if he wasn't one of Rex's guys. There's a reason the Ravens made no effort to re-sign him after the '08 season.

Brodney Pool: Yay. He's an unrestricted free agent, but I think he fit the Jets defense well. I hope to see him back.

Eric Smith: Yay. He set a record for Lucky Pass-Breakups That Could Have Been Pass Interference Calls as starting strong safety in the season's final weeks. Plus, he's good for one punt block a season.

Nick Folk: Nay. He should just be thankful there are no Dead or Alive posters in New York City.

Steve Weatherford: Nay. He was great in the regular season but his atrocious postseason really hurt the team, especially in Pittsburgh.

***

Check back next week for the coaching staff's "Yay or Nay," plus an update on Schotty's offseason plans! no comments

                          The Future: SLAUS!

I can't believe they still haven't played the friggin' Super Bowl. What is taking so long? The Jets-Steelers game feels like a month ago. I haven't been able to watch ESPN since last Sunday morning. This is my longest time away from the Worldwide Leader since I explored Cody, Wyo. and Glacier National Park in Montana some seven years ago. Thank God for the rebellious people of Egypt. CNN---in a big spot, has done a great job. Not a good job, Mike, but a great job...in a big spot!

I cudn't disagree Dawg.

***

Since I got my past my sadistic, self-mutilation period of reading Jets articles the day after the game, I have steered clear of any piece of literature that discusses said team. When I see Cimini tweeting his lame "What Could've Been" articles thinking he's cute and clever, I want to vomit. We really need to get past this Sunday and move on from the NFL. I'll be OK by draft time. I need some time to think. That's all.

Ahhh heck who am I kidding?? Let's take a brief look at who will and will not be clad in Green and White next fall.

Will he be back? Yay or Nay. I say...

OFFENSE

Mark Sanchez: Yay. Obviously.

Kellen Clemens: Yay. Although the Jets might catch on to the fact he is a paid Patriots spy when he agrees to play for free.

Mark Brunell: Nay. Although he could improve his chances by letting Sanchez get with his smokin' hot daughter. Just a thought. He is in millions of dollars of debt. Daddy's gotta pay the bills, right?

Shonn Greene: Yay. Please let him get 350 carries next season. Please.

LaDainian Tomlinson: Nay. I love when Tannenbaum says, "We would like to have him back as of now." That basically translates to, "I can't wait to cut his ass when he least expects it!" Sorry, LT.

My prediction for LT's replacement: Ricky Williams. We'll expand on this at another time.

Joe McKnight: Yay. I can't wait to read all the "Joe McKnight is ready to make an impact" articles next August and then have him fumble three times in the first game of the season. I hate knowing things before they happen.

Tony Richardson: Nay. Is it fair to say his relationship with The Terminator was analogous to Leon's relationship with DH in Playmakers? Is it weird I still have the show's theme song on my iPod? Should I stop talking?

John Conner: Yay. I still have no idea if this guy is any good. Everyone assumes he's going to be great because he's got a pretty sweet nickname for a fullback. Who knows, though.

Braylon Edwards: Yay. I think he legitimately loves being a Jet and I think Santonio is going to run for the $. The Jets will not be able to give Santonio as much as other teams. The Beard will be back.

Santonio Holmes: Nay. See above.

Jerricho Cotchery: Yay. I don't say this with full certainty, though. He's due a nice chunk of money and he's certainly not what you would call a "game-changer." We'll see.

Brad Smith: Nay. He's going to demand Josh Cribbs money which he very well may get from a crappy team with no playmakers (e.g. Cleveland), but the Jets need to spend their money on other things. Plus, Cro showed in the playoffs he could handle kick returns.

Dustin Keller: Yay. One of these years he's going to catch 90 balls. I say next year.

HARTSOCK!!!!!: Yay. He kind of stopped holding this year. Or at least the refs didn't see it. I don't know.

Nick Mangold: Yay. He has such soft hands.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson: Yay. Quietly had an excellent year. Only getting better.

Matt Slauson: Yay. I can't believe I just said that. I actually trusted him by the end of the season. I believed him when he guaranteed victory over the Steelers. Did you know he guaranteed victory over the Steelers? Weird, right?

Brandon Moore: Yay. The hip surgery thing could be tricky. If his rehab goes amiss Mr. T won't even think twice about finding him a replacement.

Damien Woody: This year's Faneca. He can still play but he's old and due money and coming off an injury. History shows the Jets don't bring those guys back.

The Hunter-Turner Twin: Yay. I'm kind of disappointed I can tell them apart now. Who knew they were of different races? I liked it better when they could wear each other's jersey and no one would notice.

Tanner Purdum: Did he botch one long snap all year? Seriously. The guy was perfect. I can't wait til he costs them a playoff game next year...

Check back Thursday for "Yay or Nay" on the Defense and Coaching Staff!
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The only way to make the pain go away...

After last year's AFC Championship Game loss I wrote...

It's only been a week since 30-17? It feels like a lifetime ago. Unlike most pre-Finals losses, this one hasn't had the same sting as say, Oct. 19, 2006 (Mets-Cardinals; Game Seven). The only explanation for this odd sensation is that the better team won and the Jets weren't expected to be there. Still though, up eleven points, 32 minutes away from the Super Bowl. I want it to hurt more. I feel guilty not losing sleep over this. Maybe I'm maturing...

On the morning of Wednesday, Jan. 26, 2011, I can confidently and positively say I have not matured. I'm hurting (in a football sense, of course). I have woken up the past three morning in relative peace, until I look up and see the Jets newspaper covers on my wall (I really need to take them down). It is at this point I get that nauseous feeling in my stomach, collapse back into bed, turn off my alarm and sleep until 2 p.m. That's my only consolation right now. I can sleep until whenever I want. If this happens again next year I won't have the luxury (I hope). Sleep. That's all I have.

I realized the road to recovery would be more difficult than I imagined on Monday night. The Rangers had one of their patented Italian football, 2-1, shootout victories over the Capitals. Normally that puts a smile to my face. But this time? There was nothing. I couldn't stop thinking about what would have happened had the Jets got that stop on third down. What would have happened had they scored on second, third or fourth-and-goal from the 1. What would have happened had they went into the half down only 17-0. And what would have happened had they simply come ready to play. Those "what ifs" will haunt Jets fans until they win a Super Bowl.

This year hurts more than last season's loss for obvious reasons. We expected, or at least imagined the Jets would return to this moment. We knew Braylon was coming back. We knew Harris was coming back. And we thought Greene would be the primary back. Two of those three things happened. The Jets hindering the third from happening may have cost them their season Sunday night. It hurts more because on a neutral field the Jets beat the Steelers nine times out of 10. The homefield advantage of Heinz Field is huge. It's hard to fully grasp until you walk in the stadium. It's friggin' loud there, man. It hurts more this year because this team, as it appeared Sunday, will not be back next year, and that's a shame. I loved this team. It was a legitimately crazy adventure following them on a daily basis. There was never a dull moment. And outside of Braylon's DUI arrest, it was all good-natured stuff. For as obnoxious as they may have been, you never got the feeling they were truly bad dudes.

I wanted so badly to love this team forever. I wanted to get LT his ring. I wanted the irony of Jason Taylor winning a Super Bowl with the Jets. I wanted Shaun Ellis to have his status as a Gang Green legend cemented. I wanted to paint a giant mural of the Flight Boys in my room...OK, that may be an exaggeration, but you get the point. My heart was for the taking with this team. I wanted to remember the name of every player, staff member, and useless practice squad player that toiled on the team's payroll from the first day of Hard Knocks until next Sunday in Dallas. Even without having really been "alive," I can tell you every player on the '94 Rangers roster. Can I do the same for the '97 Rangers? No. The '06 Mets? I've blacked them out. The '98 Jets? Certainly not. I wanted this to be my team. I'm so sad they won't be.

When I spoke with my dad this afternoon for the first time since Sunday night (texts and e-mails had been exchanged beforehand), we debated when this seemingly permanent stinging feeling would pass. We threw different (sports-related) dates and occasions back-and-forth, but could not fully agree on one. Then, finally, he correctly noted it would not pass until that one prematurely warm day in early March when the winter is put behind you. There may be cold days after it, but that feeling and smell of summer---the promise of postseason hockey and regular season baseball---cures all ills.

Until then, I'll just sleep until 2 p.m. everyday.
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